The Pittsburgh Monologue Project
Art Imitates Life N'at
Art Imitates Life N'at
Monologues
Since we have so many monologues and since we hear new ones every day, we're going to post one here each week and call it the "Monologue of the Week."
Have a monologue like this one? E-mail it to us at submissions@pghmono.com. It doesn't need to be exactly like this one, just a monologue with a Pittsburgh theme that you've heard in the city of Pittsburgh.
Here's this week's installment. If you like what you see, check out our list of upcoming shows. Or, if you have a venue and would like to host a monologue show, e-mail us and we'll work it out.
Good Person:
(A young woman, red-eyed and dressed in sweats, lingers around her neighbor’s outdoor party. She waits shyly until she is noticed by someone.)
Hi. I’m just chilling. Don’t let me bother you guys. I’ve got my beer and I’m just hanging out over here. Don’t let me bother nobody.
It just looks like you guys are having a good time, and I don’t wanna bother nobody. I live over there, and I heard there was a party, but it’s not like I was invited or nothing. I mean – not like I should’ve been invited, but I was just curious, is all.
I can leave, if you all don’t want company. I’m just hangin’.
No, I shouldn’t come in. I can just chill over here. I’m waiting for my boo to get back. He’s off somewhere, doing something.
No, it’s okay... I can... Is it really okay if I come up?
Okay, but if you want me to leave I can do that, no problem.
(She takes a few steps forward and waves bashfully.)
Hi, everybody. I’m Megan. I live over there... (points vaguely). I heard my Mom might be over here, ‘cause she got invited. You all new to the neighborhood?
What do I do? Um... (lets out an awkward, humiliated laugh). Um, can we just not talk about what I do? I’ll just say I’m a good person. How’s that?
I’m a good person. I don’t like to bother nobody. I just live over there, and take of my kid, and... you know... (Awkward laugh).
She steps back again and ushers host over with a small wave.
(Whispering). Your friends seem really nice. They seem like good person... or good people, I mean. God, I’m so nervous. They all seem so smart and well-educated and everything. They seem real cool, you know. Like not judgmental or anything.
Takes a swig from her 40 bottle.
I’m joining the Navy. I already signed up. They don’t send you nowhere bad when you’re in the Navy. I’m just gonna... I’m going to boot-camp in December... and, uh... it’s gonna be good. And my Mom’s taking care of my kid.
(Stuttered breath). She could probably do better than I’m doing. A lot better.
She swigs from the bottle again.
That was real nice of you, just to say hi to me like that. You seem like a good person, too. I’m just... I’m a little fucked up right now, you know. I’m, uh...
I’ve done a lot. Like a lot. And don’t tell me something like you understand, ‘cause you don’t. I’m sorry. But you don’t. (Snarky laugh). You don’t. I done some bad shit, in my time. I ain’t even gonna tell you.
My kid... he’s just so smart... and so good. You see around the neighborhood, walking around, talking to strangers like he ain’t even eight years old, but like he’s thirty, like he’s one of them. He’s more grown-up than I am, even. And... he just seen so much... so much bad shit... I feel like I can’t even take of him...
I’m sorry... (Snarky laugh) I’m just a little fucked up right now. My Mom’s probably around here somewhere, with that bitch-ass boyfriend of hers...
Jesus... You all seem real nice... You seem real sweet. You don’t wanna be sweet to me, ‘cause I’ll ask. I’ll ask questions you don’t want me to ask. And then you’ll ask questions that I don’t – like why I cover up my arms, and why my kid’s in the street all the time, and ain’t neither of us is gonna understand what the other’s saying, you know?
We’re good people. That’s all anybody needs to know about us. In our hearts. Everything happens for a... (deep, gusting inhale). I gotta go. I’m sorry.
Thank you for dealing with me. I just gotta... (Waves dismissively as she turns away, head bowed low so no one will see her weep).
Since we have so many monologues and since we hear new ones every day, we're going to post one here each week and call it the "Monologue of the Week."
Have a monologue like this one? E-mail it to us at submissions@pghmono.com. It doesn't need to be exactly like this one, just a monologue with a Pittsburgh theme that you've heard in the city of Pittsburgh.
Here's this week's installment. If you like what you see, check out our list of upcoming shows. Or, if you have a venue and would like to host a monologue show, e-mail us and we'll work it out.
Good Person:
(A young woman, red-eyed and dressed in sweats, lingers around her neighbor’s outdoor party. She waits shyly until she is noticed by someone.)
Hi. I’m just chilling. Don’t let me bother you guys. I’ve got my beer and I’m just hanging out over here. Don’t let me bother nobody.
It just looks like you guys are having a good time, and I don’t wanna bother nobody. I live over there, and I heard there was a party, but it’s not like I was invited or nothing. I mean – not like I should’ve been invited, but I was just curious, is all.
I can leave, if you all don’t want company. I’m just hangin’.
No, I shouldn’t come in. I can just chill over here. I’m waiting for my boo to get back. He’s off somewhere, doing something.
No, it’s okay... I can... Is it really okay if I come up?
Okay, but if you want me to leave I can do that, no problem.
(She takes a few steps forward and waves bashfully.)
Hi, everybody. I’m Megan. I live over there... (points vaguely). I heard my Mom might be over here, ‘cause she got invited. You all new to the neighborhood?
What do I do? Um... (lets out an awkward, humiliated laugh). Um, can we just not talk about what I do? I’ll just say I’m a good person. How’s that?
I’m a good person. I don’t like to bother nobody. I just live over there, and take of my kid, and... you know... (Awkward laugh).
She steps back again and ushers host over with a small wave.
(Whispering). Your friends seem really nice. They seem like good person... or good people, I mean. God, I’m so nervous. They all seem so smart and well-educated and everything. They seem real cool, you know. Like not judgmental or anything.
Takes a swig from her 40 bottle.
I’m joining the Navy. I already signed up. They don’t send you nowhere bad when you’re in the Navy. I’m just gonna... I’m going to boot-camp in December... and, uh... it’s gonna be good. And my Mom’s taking care of my kid.
(Stuttered breath). She could probably do better than I’m doing. A lot better.
She swigs from the bottle again.
That was real nice of you, just to say hi to me like that. You seem like a good person, too. I’m just... I’m a little fucked up right now, you know. I’m, uh...
I’ve done a lot. Like a lot. And don’t tell me something like you understand, ‘cause you don’t. I’m sorry. But you don’t. (Snarky laugh). You don’t. I done some bad shit, in my time. I ain’t even gonna tell you.
My kid... he’s just so smart... and so good. You see around the neighborhood, walking around, talking to strangers like he ain’t even eight years old, but like he’s thirty, like he’s one of them. He’s more grown-up than I am, even. And... he just seen so much... so much bad shit... I feel like I can’t even take of him...
I’m sorry... (Snarky laugh) I’m just a little fucked up right now. My Mom’s probably around here somewhere, with that bitch-ass boyfriend of hers...
Jesus... You all seem real nice... You seem real sweet. You don’t wanna be sweet to me, ‘cause I’ll ask. I’ll ask questions you don’t want me to ask. And then you’ll ask questions that I don’t – like why I cover up my arms, and why my kid’s in the street all the time, and ain’t neither of us is gonna understand what the other’s saying, you know?
We’re good people. That’s all anybody needs to know about us. In our hearts. Everything happens for a... (deep, gusting inhale). I gotta go. I’m sorry.
Thank you for dealing with me. I just gotta... (Waves dismissively as she turns away, head bowed low so no one will see her weep).